Confession 8 : He Choose To Throw Me Away.

Yesterday, Ibnu, he choose to throw us away. He choose to leave me. He throw me away.

This time, it was because he felt that he became a burden in my life. Due to my current (and always) problem with my parents, my debts. But somehow, it’s not that the debts is the main problem here. He likes to blame this problems before, which is the reason why he thinks we should end our relationship. But turns out, there was always another girls involved.

I am broken hearted.

I can not think clearly.

My body shutting down.

My mental won’t co-operate with me.

But I’ll tell you everything.

Confession 7 : I Know This Stuff Won’t Have a Good Ending.

I don’t even know the words to describe how much I felt betrayed this time.

Feels like I always go against my feelings. Go way beyond my logic. I always knew this stuff will ends with me being hurt. But I always choose you, Nu. At the end, I always hope you will finally change. You will stand true with your words.

But guess I was wrong all this time.

Shouldn’t have forgave you in the first place.

Confession 6: I’m Broken #2

Maybe, I’m supposed to be broken on this life time frame.

Only few friends that will be there for me without judging me. And the other few will only be there for me with their judging eyes. All of my life decision, always wrong to them. No one ever offers me comfort.

The family I have, offers me comfort, but they will judge every step and decision I make. They only want me to live my life the way they wanted me to.

I used to think that I already found the one that I’m willing to risk it all to spend the rest of my life with him. Turns out he also betrayed me.

Yeah, maybe, maybe I don’t deserve to be happy in this life.